It's all in my mind..

Each time I attempt to rid myself of these last few pounds I snap. I mean I really snap. Binge....to the point that there is no controlling how much I can put down my throat. It's not always like that, and I'm not really sure what triggers it.

I started back on Weight Watchers (Online Program) with a start day of 1-3-08. I'm very familiar with the point system and it's very easy for me to follow. I'm an 'A' type personality. I like the rules...the line in the sand...black and white. The points system works for me. When I hit my daily point allowance, I'm done.

Only the 2nd day, but it almost feels like a relief to be back on points. No gray areas. I need to do a bit of shopping. I love to cook and have a few WW Cookbooks. There are very few recipes I've made that I didn't like. I wish they had a WW Cookbook for 2. That way I'm not stuck with loads of leftovers. My boys are teenagers and rarely home these days, so not much help eating it up there. I guess I'll need to put a little more effort into it and cut the recipes in half.

My starting weight (after a BIG binge) was 124.5
My ideal weight is 105.

One day at a time.

Isn't it ironic?

Anyone home? I've had 2 other blogs that I stopped because they became all comsuming, yet here I am starting a new one....on New Years Day. My previous blogs (both going at the same time) were dedicated to my workouts and cooking. Two of (my) life's most important elements.

A little bio:
I am 47, was widowed 2 weeks before 911 after my husbands long complication riddled illness with diabetes. I have 2 sons (17 & 19). My oldest son will be spreading his wings and moving to Chile (just because...God bless him!) and my youngest son will be starting college next fall. Next month I'll be getting married on Maui to a wonderful man, then moving to Portland Oregon in June.
My job is great. I'll find out in the next 10 days if I've won "Field Traveler of the Year". What about it?.... A week at a 5 star resort on Paradise Island in the Bahama's for my new husband and I. Crossing my fingers I keep the lead!
Health and fitness:
I workout like a banshee and love it. One problem I've noticed as I get older. My lower back does not have the strength I'd like it to and gives me more and more trouble. I'm backing off weights and concentrating on Pilates and more overall variety in my training. My fiance is a triathlete (multiple sub 11 hour Ironman races & countless marathons, Boston being his favorite) so I have huge support there....it's just he's in Portland and I'm in So Ca. That will fix itself soon enough. ;)

I blew it over the holidays! Mike (my fiance) flew down. Tons of family and friends that want to know why I eat like I do when I don't have a 'weight problem'. Uggggg!!!!! I snapped. Big time....
I am 4'10" so even a few pounds can present a challenge in how my clothes fit (or don't). I grew up in an obese household and lost 80 lbs (thank you Weight Watchers) my junior year in high school. I've had the pleasure of toying with the last 15 lbs since. Every time I get close, I blow it. I often wonder if subconsciously I don't want to. Is that nuts? I need to focus. I have no goals of doing this for anybody or anything other than myself; to be healthy and my best for myself and the ones I love.


Let's get this party started.